Miniature Media

Tonite was the LiveFreeLiveLoud concert put on by Newspring Church in Anderson. The concert was only mediocre, but being there was amazing. After a hard day emotionally, I had decided I was going to stay home tonite and sulk, so I called Dawn and told her although all my plans had been cancelled, I was still not going to the concert with her, but when she offered to pay for me to get in, I agreed reluctantly. At first I was like why did I come? I don’t especially want to be here, but I am. Later more people met us there and I was able to catch up with friends from school. While talking to them, I was really encouraged and reminded that although my plans fail, God’s do not.

When I was in the second grade I wondered if my life was a dream. Like I tried to understand that everything was real, but to me what was real was my dreams. Anything that was tangible wasn’t good enough, so I decided that it wasn’t real, I guess. So at that point or age or whatever, I decided to figure out what my life really was. I decided that it was a dream. I wondered who’s dream I was in. Maybe it was my way of thinking that maybe someone would want me, would dream about me, would hope to be me or to know me, but either way. I assumed that death was when they woke up. Or did they wake up several times in my dream and that was actually when i slept? And when I woke up, they slept. Then I wondered if maybe what I dreamed about was someone else living. It’s really complicated to explain. Either way, I think about that now, and it makes me wonder…if my life was someone’s dream, would they be glad to be dreaming this? Or would they be bored out of their minds waiting for something exciting to happen? I’d like to live my life so that they wish they didn’t have to wake up. And if/when they did wake up they would wish they had a life like my own. And would they be disappointed in the character that is the main player in this life? Would they think “gosh, I can’t believe that! I thought she was better than that?” I hope not. I want to live the dream.

I’m sitting in Panera. I’m still getting charged for this site. I love my computer and I’m going to be unable to use it on a consistent basis for about a month and a half starting in early July. That’s about a month away. This summer is flying by. I ran a marathon a week ago. San Diego was beautiful.
…just some random thoughts to get some use out of 10 dollars a month!